안녕하세요, family and friends. Today, we’re going to talk about dealing with difficult decisions, especially life-changing ones.
On my last deposit for this category, Jo wasn’t able to enroll in University due to complications with her immigration papers. It is pretty complicated to explain the nitty-gritty of it all, especially without having the right credentials.
So, instead, I will tell you the story of how Jo dealt with some pretty painful decisions and how it might be able to help you if you ever find yourself in a similar situation. However, I wouldn’t wish this situation or anything similar to anyone, ever.
It was the year 2017, two years have since passed but nothing has changed, or at least, in Jo’s legal circumstances. If anything, it has somehow managed to get worst.
Jo’s family has finally found someone with the right credentials to help them with their legal concerns. Although this was a good thing for her whole family, it wasn’t necessarily evident for Jo. They found out it was too late for her, legally speaking.
The two years that was spent could’ve been made beneficial if they had met this barrister years earlier. As the application of Jo’s family was apparently never going to get accepted. It’s a simple decision to make for the immigration authorities to send a whole family home than individual members. So, it would’ve been easier to get accepted if they applied separately.
This course of action was not given to them as an option by previous solicitors they’ve asked for advice. Or maybe it was Jo’s own parents who made the decision from the start to apply together despite being given the advice. But if the solicitors did advised them, wouldn’t Jo’s parents follow their guidance as they had more knowledge in that matter?
Anyway, it didn’t matter because everything was done and Jo was left with three options.
1. Ask to marry her boyfriend, even though their relationship just started
2. Go back to the Philippines with a year travel ban
3. Stay, wait it out and maybe in the near future the immigration policy will relax and she’ll find a loophole
For all the romantics out there, we’ll have to disappoint you because it was impractical. Jo didn’t ask her boyfriend, it wasn’t the right time and she had some dignity.
Jo didn’t want to marry because it was a need. Of course, she loved him. Though some may argue maybe not enough because if she did then maybe it would’ve been easier to just say I do and be done with it. But then what? She had not finished her education, no legal papers and was only working under the table.
That wasn’t the kind of marriage Jo wanted to have at 21 or if she ever has one. So, this option was clearly out of the question. Now, she only had two options left.
If Jo stays, she won’t have to say goodbye to her siblings or break the bond they’ve built over the years they’ve been together. Even when their parents were both out of the country, all three never parted.
If Jo stays, her parents won’t have to worry so much for they will be close enough to visit each other if need be. Especially during those days, for Jo has been feeling all kinds of physical ailments. And leaving so soon, after just being reunited with her parents seemed anticlimactic.
However, if Jo stays no one knows which way the immigration policies will go. Yes, it could be relaxed in the years to come but it could also be intensified. She will be staying knowing she has exhausted her rights to appeal and to apply if she had any at all. And by that, she knew exactly what she needed to do.
Jo had to leave the UK, her home for the past 10 years, at 21. She had to, although she was the kind of person who generally goes against the norm, she still wanted to be on the good side of the law.
From this story, I could give you different ways to deal with difficult decisions but in the end, only you can have the power to decide what you want to happen in your life.
All I can ever give are means to get to your desired answer and those are the following:
1. Apply the power of elimination – write things down or list in your head the advantages and disadvantages of each choice. Make sure to take into account the practicability of each point. (Personally, writing things down is a lot easier cause you’ll be able to clearly see which has more advantages)
2. Assess the choices according to your own moral code or value system (Much like how Jo eliminated the choice of marriage because she believed that it wasn’t the right time for her to do it)
3. If the difficult decision has to be done under pressure or with limited time, going with your instincts is helpful.
4. Acknowledge other people’s advice because you can acquire some great insights especially if you’re asking those who have already gone through a very similar situation or experts about the matter at hand (But still, you’re the only person who can make the last call because at the end of the day, it is only you that has to live with your decision)
5. This is probably the most important one, and perhaps I should’ve written this as number one but I’m keeping it at five for it’s the last mean I can give. Pray, seek Lord God’s guidance with whatever you do. A simple, short prayer can go a long way.
I will tell you now, I don’t use all of them at the same time myself. And I sometimes use prayer as a last resort instead of my first line of defence. It’s always after praying and getting everything sorted that I realise that prayer should always be your first line of defence. Thus, if there’s anything you can take from this post … No matter how trivial or huge the decisions you need to make, with prayer, you’ll always get the answer you need.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
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